Sasuke's boobies Chapter 1
by Pwnnage
Summary: Chapta 1 nubs!


**CHAPTER 1**

Our super sexy story begins with Sasuke in Orochimaru's hideout base thing

Sasuke: Dammit its so boring here, I thought you promised me good times!

Orochimaru:I thought I showed you a good time yesterday

Sasuke: No! I mean good times when I'm sober!

Orochimaru: I'll let you pet my snake

Sasuke:NO HOMO!

Kabuto walks in with groceries.

Kabuto: K, I got Cookies for ORO and instant noodles for sasuke

Sasuke: DAM YOU KABUTO! I want cookies! Instant noodles taste like snake crap!

Orochimaru:STFU sasuke You're on a strict training diet! I call it the Jenny Crap diet!

Sasuke: Omg I've been eating this crap since i came here 3 years ago! I'm getting wierd side effects

Kabuto stares at sasuke.

Kabuto: Lemme give you a check up!

Orochimaru: OOOO!! Want me to help?

Kabuto:Don't wet yourself ORO, why don't you go eat your cookies in your room

Orochimaru: You never let me have any fun

5 hours of inspection later...

Orochimaru: K I'm back, we need more cookies! And the Dam toilet won't flush again!

Kabuto: Orochimaru, I don't know how to break this to you... but...Sasuke has boobs

Orochimaru: It took you friggin 5 hours to discover that?

Kabuto: I haven't prescribed these glasses in 20 years! They're still in style right?

Sasuke: I HAVE BOOBIES AND ITS ALL YOUR FAULT YOU STUPID PERVERT!

Orochimaru: OMG DID U READ THE NUTRITIONAL INFO ON THE BACK OF THE INSTANT NOODLE CUPS KABUTO?!

Kabuto: I'm on it sir! Hmm, may contains traces of nuts, milk, soy and...BOOBIES?

Sasuke: WTF MATE! YOU FED ME BOOBS IN A CUP!

Orochimaru: Omg we're so screwed! How will we take over the world with that rack of yours?

Sasuke: Kabuto can't you use some secret healing jutsu crap to fix these hooters?

Kabuto: No all i can actually do is make my arm glow a blue shade.

Orochimaru: BTW why haven't you noticed this b4?

Sasuke: This robe is wonderfully baggy, I could fit Chouji's bum cheeks in here! ...Not that I would want that... .

Orochimaru: Shut up Sasugay, we have to figure out a way to destroy your clevage!

Kabuto: I know one way!

Sasuke: Tell me you strange deformed man!

Kabuto: Tsunade can heal you!

Orochimaru: CUZ THAT REALLY WORKED OUT WELL LAST TIME! IDIOT! flashes back to time Oro had his hands all screwed up and they meet tsunade, but ended up in a sanin battle"

Kabuto: 2nd times a charm!

Sasuke: But that means i gotta go back to Konoha o.0

Orochimaru: NO sh sherlock

Kabuto: I'm up for a road trip!

Orochimaru: Omg you guys fail, we're gonan get our skinny asses Smacked by the leaf ninja! ...On second thought...I'll pack my bags

Sasuke: But I'll see naruto! and Saku-- Saku-- umm... That Pink haired whore! Don't make me goooo!!

Kabuto: It's either that or I'll cut your boobs off with my Kunai!

Sasuke: Hmm... Horrible suffering pain...or getting my boobs cut off... this is a hard decision.

Orochimaru: I don't care I got my bags packed. Get in the car we're leaving!

Sasuke: Cars weren't invented in this time yet stupid! It doesn't make sense!

Orochimaru: We're in a bad fanfic... It doesn't have to make sense!

Sasuke: Good point, let me go get my DS

everyone gets in the Snakemobile

Orochimaru: TO KONOHA! WOOOO!

Sasuke: Keep it down I'm trying to play Pokemon

Kabuto: OOOO! which version?

Sasuke: Yellow

Kabuto: Omg thats the one where Pikachu follows you and crap!

Sasuke: Dam straight! Now shut up or you'll screw me up

4 hours later

Kabuto: Are we there yet?

Orochimaru: No

3 hours later

Kabuto: Are we there yet?

Orochimaru: No

3 hours later

Kabuto: I need to pee

Orochimaru: The closest McDonalds is 3 miles away, can it wait?

Kabuto: But i need to peeeeeeeeeeee

Orochimaru: STFU WE'RE ALMOST THERE

Sasuke: OMG Kabuto made my DS yellow!

Kabuto: D BUAHAHAHAHA

Orochimaru: You're removing the stain after, thats REAL snake leather.

4 hours later

Kabuto: Are we there yet?

Orochimaru: It's either this or 5 episodes of tree hopping, YOU CHOOSE

Kabuto: HEY LOOK AT THE SIGN! 'KONOHA: 24 miles'

Sasuke: We're ALMOST THERE!!

Orochimaru: No sh sherlock

24 miles later

Orochimaru: Where the hell is the parking lot! How do they expect people to visit their village if they dont have a dam parking lot!

Kabuto: Just leave it next to the trees, no one will take it.

Orochimaru: K close the windows and lock the doors people.

Sasuke: I better hope no one notices me

the homosexual 3 walk into Konoha

The Door people: OMG SASUKE IS THAT YOU?

Sasuke: No, I'm just a really good cosplayer

Door people: Ohhhh... (why won't anyone cosplay as us for once?)

Kabuto: smooth --

Sasuke: K walk a little faster, I;m so scared someone is gonna-

CRASH

Sasuke: What the hell is your problem man?

Sakura: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

30 mins later

Sakura: POMGGG OMFGGGGGG OMGMGMFGG!!

Sasuke: slap

Sakura: Sasuke!! WDF IS THAT REALLY YOU?

Sasuke: NO, go away you strange whore

Sakura: It IS YOU! I can recognize that Sweet Caring tone anywhere!

Sasuke: RUNNNN!!

the homosexual 3 starts running after a pink haired girl around the village

CRASH

Sasuke: Who the hell keeps HITTING ME?

Naruto: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGOMG

Sasuke: slap I'm not waiting 30 mins this time

Naruto: SASUKE!

Sasuke: SASUKE!

Kabuto: Kabuto? No? No one? Anyone recognize me? Fan girls? No?

Orochimaru: You both are soooo annoying Sasuke doesn't love you anymore!

Naruto: YOU CAME BACK to the village! That saves us a whole season's worth of time!

Sasuke: Nuh uh, I ain't stayin I'm going to get my breasts removed from Tsunade

Sakura: ...

Naruto: ...

Kabuto:

Sasuke: Yup I have boobs, now move aside.

Naruto: Although the boobs are a big turnoff for me, I'm still gonna make you stay in the village!

Orochimaru: While they're fighting, can you go across the street and grab some more cookies Kabuto?

Kabuto: Chocolate chip or Miso Pork ramen flavour?

Orochimaru: Surprise me

Sasuke: Arn't you guys staying to help me fight the whole FRICKIN VILLAGE?

Orochimaru: Nah I'm going shopping. I gotta stay sexy for the guys-- Errr-- I mean-- women.. Yes Pretty women.

Naruto: I've emailed/texted/called/notified everyone i know to get here ASAP.

Sasuke: WTF u guys got email already? back in the hut we just got TV

Naruto: Omg you guys are cavemen!

Hinata: I'm HERE NARUTO! READY TO FIGHT!

Tenten: OMG SASUKE! ADD ME ON MYSPACE! FACEBOOK? MSN? AIM? YAHOO?

Sasuke: This..is...a...NIGHTMARE

Lee: HEY SASUKE! SPRING TIME OF YOUTH! TRAINING! GAI SENSEI! LOTUS LEAF!

Chouji: I like hamburgers! and hotdogs...and mayonaise...and Korean barbeque

Ino: Im a slut!

Shikamaru: My eyes are small.

Kiba: WOOF

Neji: Sasuke ur destiny has been decided by me! AHA!

Shino: Have you seen Sammy the fruit fly?

Sasuke: This is like a bad reunion! And you still ask why I left the friggin village?

Naruto: Too bad! If you want ur breasts removed then you have to go through ALL of US!

Sasuke: I can barley get past Chouji...

Naruto: No, by get through I mean beat us in battle

Sasuke: ohh, thats much easier!

Sasuke's boob starts hurting

Sasuke: OWWWW!! MY BOOB!! GUYS STOP IM HAVING A BOOB ATTACK!

Neji: WTF!?

Sasuke: OMG SOMEONE SAVE ME IT HURTS LIKE HELLL!!

Tenten: Omg someone E-mail Tsunade! HES GONNA DIE!

Sakura: You know... I can heal him too...

Naruto: Unlike you, Tsunade has had actual experience with breasts.

Lee: OH NO HE DID DUNTTTTTT!!

Ino: HE JUST CALLED YOU FLAT!

Shino: Kk Tsunade texted back, she should be flying through a roof right about...

CRASH

Shino: now

Tsunade: WTF WHO PUT THAT HOT DOG STAND THERE! WHO THE HELL EVEN EATS HOT DOGS ANYWAYS?

Sasuke: S-save meeee!

Tsunade: Nice to meet you again you run away skamp

puts hand over Sasuke's chest and makes a green glowy light

Tsunade: What we have here is a minor case of the Boobinitus, you were trying to exert chakra too fast and ur boobs couldn't catch up.

Sasuke: THE HELL?

Tsunade: Theres only one cure... To learn the way of the clevage. Its a fighting style developed for Big chested people like me...and not Sakura.

Sasuke: THE HELL?

Naruto: Lol sakura has monsquito bite boobies!


End file.
